


The adventures of Kiibo and Ouma and Ouma and Ouma and Ouma

by Genoscissors



Category: Danganronpa
Genre: And a panta bottles, And there’s a parrot, M/M, but it’s mostly just Ouma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 13:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14214156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genoscissors/pseuds/Genoscissors
Summary: What is Dice? 1 Ouma was enough, but this is ridiculous.





	The adventures of Kiibo and Ouma and Ouma and Ouma and Ouma

"So this is the place?" Kiibo stared up at the building, towering over him like a giraffe towers over an ant. He thought it was too big to be this right place, but remembered it was supposed to house 10,000 members of Dice, unless Ouma was lying about that too. He nervously opened the front door - a 7 foot oak door. He was greeted with a familiar face, sitting behind a receptionist's desk.

 

"Hello there! Welcome to Dice! How can I help you? If you are interested in becoming a member, we have a sign in form here." He passed forward a clipboard and pen "If you want more information here are some pamphlets." He passed those forwards "And if you have any complaints then you can shove them up your ugly ass!" He flipped Kiibo off.

Kiibo snapped out of his shock, and addressed the small purple haired boy "Ouma, what are you talking about?"

"Do. You. Want. To. Join. Dice. Because. If. Not. Then. You. should. Leave." He smiled, before jumping over the desk, into the shocked Kiibo's arms. "Or maybe you want something else?"

"I want an explanation. Why are you acting so weird after you called me all the wa-"

"Oh, did another Ouma ask you to come here?" He jumped down, and ran back behind his desk "That makes more sense! So which one was it? You're a robot right? Maybe it was marvellous mechanical mouse organ Ouma? Or the Ouma that went to university and keeps rubbing it in everyone's faces?"

"Which one? Another Ouma? I can't believe your lies, I thought you promised to stop when we started dating."

"So this Ouma has a boyfriend? That does narrow it down." Receptionist Ouma typed something into a computer. "Down to 3,485 Oumas. That's an improvement. What else do you know about them, apart from appearances, obviously. Unless it's glasses Ouma."

"My Ouma lies a lot, he's sensitive, loves to play pranks, and... you got me there, for a second I actually believed you had a twin or something."

"Twins, oh honey please, there isn't a word to describe how many of us there are. But that narrows it down to 1,338, keep going."

"I give up." Kiibo turned to leave, annoyed, when two guys walked through the door. They both had purple hair, purple eyes, identical to the receptionist, identical to Ouma. "Wha-" they both ignored him and headed straight for the desk. 

"Sign in Ouma who likes to wrestle stuffed animals, and the Ouma that once ate three pizzas in one sitting please."  
"Certainly."

"Hey! Who are you? Why do you all look like Ouma? And why do you have such weird names?"

"You think I wanted to be know for wrestling toys? It was one time! And I was drunk, I thought it was a bear forcing us to kill each other, but no one had pulled a stunt like that before, so that's my name! Just my effing luck!" 

"Did your Ouma not tell you? Dice is solely made up of Ouma clones, well, 9,998 clones, a highly advanced talking parrot and a panta bottle, but mostly clones." 

"No way, one Ouma was enough." He looked around the room. "So, um, my Ouma goes to Hope's Peak." The Oumas gasped in synchronisation. "The ultimate supreme ruler? Can you find him?"

"Supreme ruler."  
"Hope's Peak?"  
"Our master!"

 

Kiibo was lead down the halls by the 'porter Ouma'. However, he didn't know where the actual Ouma was, so they had to check every single room one by one.

"What about in there?" Kiibo stood in front of a door, whilst others had plaques with titles like 'Dinner lady Ouma' - which lead to a cafeteria lead by one guy, this one just had a number.  
"Our leader never goes into there, he claims it's haunted. 

"Haunted?"

"There used to be 10,000 clones, but one died and one went missing. This was back before we all had our names and personalities, the one that died was just 1838. Leader claims that when he entered the room he could feel the spirit of 1838, he was more terrified than I've ever seen him. He declared that no one should never enter under any- hey!"

Kiibo opened the door, and felt a chill. He looked around, but there was only darkness. The light switch didn't work either. So he activated his torch mode, and stepped inside. He saw Ouma, or was it a clone, asleep on the ground. Kiibo took a closer look, and knew it was the Ouma he knew. 

"Mr Kiibo plea-" porter Ouma ran over to shake the sleeping Ouma awake. "Hey! Our supreme leader has banned us from entering this room! Have you no respect?"

"Nishishi..." he yawned and stretched "you ruined my nap. I was having such a good dream too."

"Our leader says-"

"I am your leader. Now leave so I can talk to my boyfriend." The clone hurriedly left. "Nice to see you darling! How do you like the place?"

"I have questions. Why are you in a dead Ouma's room for starters?"

"Huh? But this is room 1837, goth Ouma's room. He lets me stay here when I want to be alone. Oh right. I changed the nameplates, that's why you're confused."

"And also-"

"Shh shhh shhhh shhhhh... let's walk and talk ok? There's so much I want to show you."

 

"Ouma I-"

"And this is the exhibit room. See, this is member 10,000, the elusive panta bottle, the magical drink that gave us life! Us clones would not exist if it were not for the beauty of Panta!"

"I don't quite follow."

"So they were doing the experiments to make clones yeah? And they were failing. I think, I wasn't there at the time. And then some plucky assistant 'accidentally' spilt this exact bottle into the serum. And poof." Jazz hands "It gave us life. Did you never wonder how I got this hair colour?"

"I can't tell if you're lying."

"I'm telling you, this is real! Ask any Ouma here, that's what happened."

"No it wasn't! It's just a conspiracy by the government, we were actually created using alien technology! You have to believe me!" Sceptic Ouma was quickly ushered out, and Ouma shrugged.

"Ask any Ouma other than him."

"So um, you got that hair colour from the panta. So you're not the original then? Why are you-"

"Leader? I asserted my dominance, that's all. Well no, I cheated at a game of poker, but it's the same thing isn't it?"

"No I-"

"And yes, I am a clone. The original, hmm I heard he tried to blow up a gym. I haven't heard from him in a while, dunno when he'll be back. His real name isn't Ouma either, it's an acronym you see! Organic Material Agent. Dunno what that means, they just liked the name Ouma I guess."

"But I thought there was a U in your name."

"Ah well, I thought the name was a but drab myself, so I changed it. We are, drumroll please! Organic Ultrasuperawesome Material Agents."

"..." Kiibo decided to stop questioning everything. This was getting too confusing, even for the ultimate robot.

"And now we have 10001 members! Congratulations on being the first not-clone, not-parrot, not-panta member Kiibo! Would you like to change your name to fit in? You can be robot Ouma."

"No I think I’d rather stay as Ki- wait why am I joining?" 

"Eh? You aren’t? What a shame. I guess I’ll have to... gently convince you." Ouma made the scary face, you know the one.

"..." Kiibo hadn’t fully realised at this point how big of a mess he’d got into.


End file.
